Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Back To Black
Today is one of the hardest days I have had in so very long. Heartbreak is never easy, and no one seems to be able to escape the feelings of loss, anger, sadness, loneliness, and hurt that comes with risking your heart. I risked my heart, after being destroyed by a relationship in the past, and after two years of what I though was the best thing in my life, I am alone again. I can't deny the feelings in my heart, I don't know how long I will feel this way, but I am so very lost. It's hard when you still are in love with someone, someone who was your best friend and who you knew was your soul mate, and see them move in another direction, whatever the reason. Today I am mourning the loss of what could have been, for I had let myself dream of the future, and all those dreams are now dead. I wore this dress this past weekend, when I acted as a fill in DJ for a UVogue Fashion Show featuring Stiletto Moody shoes and LeeZu fashion designs, among others.
This dress was in my inventory, and I threw it on for the event, the LeeZu Betty Flexi Dress in Black is a very sexy number indeed, more so then I anticipated, so I slipped a lovely Black Sheer Desire camisole from **Battered Boudoir** on underneath to make it more modest for a daytime event. The shoes are Stiletto Moody Pinup Pumps in the Patent Color Set, with colour change versatility that I always find helps when pulling together a look in a hurry.
As I was DJing, I didn't need a handbag, so I went with some great jewelry looks. Starting with a simple pair of Claris Black Pearl Earrings from ~Muse~. The necklace is also in Black Pearls, from *kraftika, No.129, as is the Black Pearl Bauble Flower Ring from Caroline's Jewelry. I also grabbed a pair of spectacular Jujubes Gem Antique Silver Bangles from ~*Freah Baked Goods*~, with colour scripted gems set to Black Onyx.
Hair is a simple loose pulled back look from ETD, the beautifully sculpted Yvette style in Black, one of Elika's newer styles, and so nicely textured. The skin is -AnaLu- *inRainbows*, natural complexion, and a neutral toned make-up with subdued .greyish. shadow. Hazel Eyes are from Miriel, and Thora Lashes are from MMS (now LeLutka).
I know I will be OK, eventually, right now all I know is I need time. I have dear friends, I have close family, and I know that time heals all wounds. I have to get over the anger, the disappointment, the hurt of a broken heart, but I know that there is no other path for me. I simply have to move on and come back to being OK with myself, find my strength, and find my way out of the very dark place I now find myself in.
Dress - LeeZu, Betty Flexi Dress/Black
Camisole - Battered Boudoir, Sheer Desire Black Top
Shoes - Stiletto Moody, Pinup Pump (Patent Color Set)
Necklace - *kraftika, No.129, Black Pearls
Earrings - ~Muse~, Claris Black Pearl Earrings in Silver
Bracelets - ~*Fresh Baked Goods*~, Jujubes Gem Antique Silver Bangle
Ring - Caroline's Jewelry, Black Pearl Bauble Flower Ring
Hair - ETD, Yvette - Naturals I Pack (Black)
Skin - -AnaLu-, *InRainbows* NAT08 .greyish.
Lashes - MMS (now LeLutka), Thora Lashes
Eyes - Miriel, Hazel Eyes (Big)