No Man Knows My Story

"Sometimes life is ridiculously simple... men want me again. I can see it in the way they follow my movements, not just with their eyes, but with their whole bodies... And I'll admit to this: I am collecting them like gold-plated sugar spoons, one from every state.



This is a difficult story to tell because what's right about what I have to say is only as wide as a tightrope, and what's wrong about it yawns wide, beckoning, on either side. But there is something so sweet about the first kiss, the first surrender that, like the words "I want you," can never mean precisely the same thing again. It is delicious and addicting...



I will tell you about Phillip, who is vast and dangerous, his desires uncontainable and huge...

Christopher is innocent. Very young and wide-open....

Jonathan came here from the Okavango Delta in Botswana; he's tall and hairy and clever and strong....



I'm afraid of what you might be thinking. That I am a certain kind of person, and that you are the kind of person who knows more about my story that me. But you should know this: I could love any one of them, in an instant and with every piece of my heart, but none of them nor the world will allow it, and so I move between them, on snowy highways and crowded airplanes.



I was in New York this morning. I woke up in Phillip's bed. Come here, he's in my hair. You can still smell him."

Nikk walks a tightrope in:

Pants: LeLutka wool pants in black
Shirt: Zaara Isis shirt in wine
Boots: Bax Black Patent
Belt: Coco Wide Belt in Black
Sunglasses: Role Optic, Gala
Bracelet: Fresh Baked Goods Jelly Bean silver gem bangle
Necklace: Zaara Vanisri in onyx
Bag: Baiastice pop bag Warhol
Hair: TRUTH Tatiana in snow
Skin:T U L I Jade tone 2 makeup 8c

Text excerpted from the short story "Symphony" in Pam Houston's Cowboys are My Weakness.
Title inspired by Fawn Brodie's No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith.